I’ve been watching the IF:Gathering sessions all day. Speakers, worship, laughs, and a whole lot of TRUTH being spoken through these ladies. If you’re not familiar with Jennie Allen’s ministry, it’s a generation of women coming together to glorify God by equipping and sending disciples into the world to make more. It’s an awesome ministry and I so wish that I was there this weekend.
Actually… Okay, this is embarrassing. But we’re friends so I can tell you, right?
I wish I was there this weekend. To speak.
I look at these sisters in Christ. These beautiful, incredibly humble and purpose-driven God-fearing women. They are full of passion and intense desire for Jesus. They work hard, they always have something witty and remarkable to say on Instagram, and they all have really nice hair (I mean…). And all the cute shoes we saw today? *Sigh*
Now here come the whispers. The lies come so softly and subtly that if I’m not careful I might actually mistake them for God’s voice. Because that’s what Satan does. He’s a clever manipulator in the worst way. He says:
Look at these women. You could be like that if only you tried a little harder. Got up a little earlier. Took a little more pride in your appearance. You might actually have a real career, a meaningful life.
These last few weeks little else has been on my mind but this blog and my writing projects. I have many grand ideas because I have set my sight on what I want. Yes, the book contracts, the site ratings, the respect and attention. I think, if I can do all that, God will surely be praised because of what he did for me. Plus if I was in with this crowd, I might even get my own pair of cute ankle booties.
Then Jennie Allen said something that made me do a double-take. She said, “We need to pledge to quit doing things FOR God instead of WITH God. Basically, we need to quit being so awesome.”
It was at that exact moment that my eyes were opened. I realized that all these dreams I have for myself, while not bad in and of themselves, were for my glory mostly and a little for god. Probably like 60/40. Or maybe 70/30 if I wasn’t lying.
See, it’s all the Being and Doing and Proving that gets us tangled up in our own fears and failures. It’s all the trying to be so awesome that ironically shuts God out of those same plans. We forget to sit still and be captivated and in awe of the Author and Owner of the universe.
Do you do this too? Run in circles trying to catch up with, or even surpass Him in his greatness? I do for sure. But I’m trying to quit. Clearly, I’m just not cut out to be that awesome.
Let us remember tonight that we are called to rest in his unfailing love. That’s why He’s God and we are not.
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~The PD team