A Sweet Answer To Miscarriage: My Decision to Sponsor a Child

Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.

James 1:26-27

My first time sponsoring a child in poverty

I truly believe that God works out everything for the good of those who love him. I love God. Therefore, I trust that he will not allow my miscarriage to be for nothing.

You see, when I first believed that Jesus died for me, He poured the Holy Spirit into me, refreshing, remaking, and revitalizing my heart. No longer was I the same crusty selfish person… I was and am now free to let go of all the striving and effort the world requires of me. The shackles came off and the sleeves went up. 

Instead of striving and struggling for my own salvation, I have all the time in the world to throw myself, heart and soul, into the hard and sticky business of loving people.
My heart now points to true north. With divine guidance it knows exactly where it should be heading at any moment. I am not perfect yet! And my journey towards sanctification sometimes takes a sour turn. But it’s opportunities like sponsoring a child through ministries like Compassion International, that help me to remember again how much I need to be growing, giving, and point others to God.

The Bible says that everything that we do flows from the heart. My heart beats in health and clarity. My heart knows what will glorify God when it crosses my path.

I still long for a child of my own, but in the dog days of waiting patiently and expectantly on the Lord, I can take up the cause of “the least of one of these” and practice being a mother with the most powerful superpower ever given to me: Prayer. I am going to pray diligently as if this little girl was all mine, with overflowing, sacrificial, unconditional love.

And then if or when He decides to make me a physical mama, I’ll only have that much more love to give.


Capture

The invisible friend

largeAt the moment of belief, we are anointed by the Holy Spirit and he comes to live inside of us. Every minute of every day since I first invited Jesus into my heart, he has been here, living, watching, feeling, and cheering for me this whole time. Even when I forget about him, he NEVER forgets about me. He just watches and waits for me to look up again.

Don’t you know that you yourselves are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in your midst? ~1 Cor 3:16

Thankfully, he’s not fickle like me. He doesn’t just try to show up for the problems in life or leave when he feels like it. The Bible says that God doesn’t even sleep. He never abandons us or leaves us. He is always completely faithful. If I ever feel differently, it’s because I’ve stopped paying attention.

When we stop paying attention to the presence of Christ in our lives, we can develop an attitude that we’ve got it under control.  I often find myself in an exhaustive tug-of-war between what God wants me to do and what I want to do. And isn’t that the story of our human nature? We are forever on the fence, weighing the options, like anything besides God could really stand a chance to make us happy.

Here are some things I like to do to constantly stay aware of the Spirit in me:

  • Prayer for me. Simple, uncomplicated: “Lord I can’t, but you can! I give my burden to you”
  • Prayer for you. Talk to God on behalf of someone else.
  • Text some love. Who can use a hug or an encouraging word?
  • Act. What can you do for someone to make their day a little less stressful?
  • Remember joy. What do you have to be joyful about? Think on those things
  • What else can you do?

It’s difficult, but absolutely worth the trouble to keep constantly aware of His presence. And the peace that comes of it? It’s beyond comprehension.