Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.
I truly believe that God works out everything for the good of those who love him. I love God. Therefore, I trust that he will not allow my miscarriage to be for nothing.
You see, when I first believed that Jesus died for me, He poured the Holy Spirit into me, refreshing, remaking, and revitalizing my heart. No longer was I the same crusty selfish person… I was and am now free to let go of all the striving and effort the world requires of me. The shackles came off and the sleeves went up.
Instead of striving and struggling for my own salvation, I have all the time in the world to throw myself, heart and soul, into the hard and sticky business of loving people.
My heart now points to true north. With divine guidance it knows exactly where it should be heading at any moment. I am not perfect yet! And my journey towards sanctification sometimes takes a sour turn. But it’s opportunities like sponsoring a child through ministries like Compassion International, that help me to remember again how much I need to be growing, giving, and point others to God.
The Bible says that everything that we do flows from the heart. My heart beats in health and clarity. My heart knows what will glorify God when it crosses my path.
I still long for a child of my own, but in the dog days of waiting patiently and expectantly on the Lord, I can take up the cause of “the least of one of these” and practice being a mother with the most powerful superpower ever given to me: Prayer. I am going to pray diligently as if this little girl was all mine, with overflowing, sacrificial, unconditional love.
And then if or when He decides to make me a physical mama, I’ll only have that much more love to give.